I am so so sorry, you guys. I know in my last post, I said that I would be uploading every day last week, and I didn't. I am SICK. Even as I write this, I feel like utter death. I haven't been this sick in a long time, so I guess I am making up for it. I am like, can't leave the couch, cant get dressed kind of sick. I have been taking medicine every four hours and it wears off about thirty minutes before I need to take the next dose. I am on a vicious cycle of feeling terrible right now.
Anywho, there is a topic on my heart that I want to chat about. My style is a lot of things. It is simple. Cozy. Feminine. Most importantly, it is modest. More and more, I am noticing a lack of modesty in my feeds. The age for that lack of modesty is getting younger and younger. There is not much left to the imagination for sure even in children. To be completely honest, it is breaking my heart. I think that modesty is SO important, but not many people agree with me. So, I am sharing a different viewpoint on the subject. I have learned a few things about dressing that I wish I would have learned a lot earlier (especially in college, I have surely worn some doozies). I am sharing it with you in hopes that it may help shed a bright light on the topic and change the scenery in the feeds. Even if it is through just one person.
I'm just going to just straight into it. I think that we as women must be very intentional with our dress. If you think about it, what you put out into the world is what you will get back. If you put out negativity into the world, that is what you will get out. If you put out positivity, that is what you will get in return. That same concept applies for your manner of dress. The way that you dress attracts the attention you will get. You can test that theory if you want. That is why I encourage you to dress for the attention you want to get. You have to be conscious of the message you are sending.
Here is a real life example of what I mean by that. I had this really sweet teacher once, who in her attempts to stay hip up with the times, (God love her) wore a mini skirt and fishnet tights and heels to school. Can you see me face-palming myself right now? Please don't think I am making fun of her. I am not. Can you also imagine the crazy amount of cat calling she got from the immature high school boys? Yea... I was SO sad and embarrassed for her when SHE got sent home to change. She really wasn't meaning to be provocative, you could tell. The boys were purposely dropping things in front of her so that she would bend over to pick them up as she walked by. They were making the most inappropriate sexual jokes TO HER FACE, but since she wasn't up to date on Urban Dictionary lingo, she didn't get it. Her sweet naive demeanor didn't pick up on anything. I can't imagine how she felt when she had to leave the school because of her clothes. My point is that rather than dressing in the professional way that she should have, she dressed for the approval of high school students. In turn, she got a high school response. That poor teacher got labeled as the teacher from that movie Friday Night Lights. If you catch my drift, and just for that one incidence, it stuck until she left the school.
I want you to sit and think about what your clothes say about you? What are the areas of your body that you consciously (or subconsciously) highlight? Clothing is a direct expression of your heart, so what is it that your heart is expressing? Is it love, or hurt, or anger? Is it daddy issues? Is it self awareness? I like to think about things like that when I am getting ready. I believe that it is just as important to guard your body as it is your hearts. If you don't, you may not have anything to offer someone else when the time is right. Or you could be like me, and spend a lot of time putting back together the pieces in order to be whole for someone.
Our bodies are meant for our spouses, not the world. Even before you are married, you should consider the man you will come to marry. ( A lesson I learned late.) You will want someone who doesn't see you only for your appeal, but because of who you are. You want someone who isn't only motivated in objectifying you because of what he sees. Although I am speaking to a female audience right now, this isn't just a one sided gender thing. This is a two way street. Men can be just as provocative if they want. I strive hard to not fall into that category. You can still be cute without showing off everything you own. Save the sexy for your home and your own marriage. Our bodies are meant for our spouses, not the world to see. Don't get me wrong, I am not saying that you should never be sexy, only that there is a time and place for that and it should be for his (your spouses) eyes only.
That is why I now choose to dress with husbands in mind. I dress for my own husband, so that he will like what he sees but not in a way that keeps him aroused. I hate to be so blunt about this taboo topic, but its the truth. As my m.i.l says so perfectly, men are visual creatures. And that they are. I also dress for respecting other husbands. I would never want the way I dress to cause a man to stumble in his walk with his wife or God. I think that too often we take the approach of "well, if he looks, that's his problem, not mine." as an excuse to dress in revealing ways. My response to that type of thinking, is what could be more selfish? If you don't care about yourself enough, at least care about the other women. Sure, there will be instances when they will "look" regardless, but I do everything that I can to not purposefully tempt.
Which brings me to my next topic. And oh do I get fired up over this one. THOSE PEOPLE. The ones who look... at children. This is a serious issue that needs addressing, and I don't know why no one is not already talking about it. Modesty matters for our children too. More and more, I have noticed a trend in over-sexualizing and over-sensationalizing children in the name of "competitive dance" or "pageants" or "cheer", etc. I have seen little girls dressing with more makeup than I wear (which is alot) and clothing similar to that of the adult entertainment industry. Clothes that are basically glittery bras and panties. Extremely sexual. (Lets not even go down the rabbit hole of what they are actually doing in these "sports".)
You mommas out there, COME ON! Protect your babies better than that!! Please!! You have no idea the perversion that goes on in this world if you think that is okay. I'm not trying to mom shame here, just make you aware that whether we want to think about it or not, those people exist. Perverted people exist and catching a glimpse of your kid is what they feed on. You can't even imagine what people are capable of, and I think it is our duty to protect the children the best we can. That means protecting the image of their bodies before they are old enough to make the decision for themselves. Do you WANT someone thinking of your precious baby in a sexual way? I sure wouldn't. I know it is hard to think that anyone would, because you don't think that way. You just think they are cute and a kid. But there are sick-o's out there that are thinking WAY more than that.
In a world so saturated with sex everywhere you look, I don't want my future children to be the target of those gazes, and especially not by my own hand. Let the babies be babies. There is plenty of time for them to be sexy in their life without you doing it to them. I'm not kidding I saw a little five year old girl air humping, touching herself, bending over provocatively, and body rolling to a song that said explicit words too disgusting for me to type here, all while being recording by her own mother screaming "yes child, work it!". I'm not even sorry for saying this, but WHAT the actual heck? No one can tell me that you aren't aware of what that teaches a child, and no one can tell me that that is not sexualizing a child. And I see stuff like this ALL OF THE TIME!!! It is time to do better!
Teach your babies what is appropriate by example. Don't teach them to be sexual, then try to backtrack once you've created a monster of an over-sexual teenager. Sexual dress and dancing turns into actual sex. Remember that. I'm just keeping real here. Let's teach the children that protecting their body is important. Now that I have my blood boiling, I need to change the topic before I scream. Haha.
Back to what I mentioned about seeing my timelines full of half naked bodies, I have started a change. I have been unfollowing all of those accounts and actively searching for a modest tribe of women to inspire me, and I encourage you to as well. In fact, I am going to be using the two hashtags #modestymatters and #modesttribe on all of my own pictures to start my own wave. I want to see more modesty and start giving less attention to the lack there of. Please, tag along with me using those hashtags. Post your outfits too!!!!!
Thank you so much for stopping by, and be sure to tell me what you think about this topic. I would love to hear your opinion.
Love always, Sarah.
