Hey sweet friends. I am officially half way through the first trimester and thought it was the perfect time to give you a baby update. Currently I am 20 weeks along. HALF WAY!! YAY. How absolutely wonderful is that? I am possibly going through the most craziest, most hectic, most happy time in life I have ever experienced so far. I don’t see it slowing down any time soon either. I will be sure to write another blog post about all of the other things we have going on too, but for now, let’s talk this little baby.
Ah, where to start? First off, if you’re new here. Hi. I’m preggers. Thank you God for this miracle blessing. It truly is such a miracle. I have been firm that I didn’t want a baby for years. It wasn’t until about a year ago that I started warming up to the idea of a baby. The Lord really did a 180 on my heart over the past year to make that happen. If you would know how hardened my heart was to the idea, you would know how big of a miracle it is. It is such a wonderful thing to be pregnant and overjoyed about it. I am so grateful.
I found out on November 23. I was a few days late, and I just had a feeling. Ya know. I was not getting my usual symptoms leading up to a normal period. On top of that, I felt super tired and hungry. I also noticed that my skin was strangely oily. (I am never oily.) I am pretty in tune to changes to my body, so I knew almost immediately that I was. I took the first test, and I truly could not tell if it was positive or not. You can see the clear blue test below. It was so faint that I just could not tell. I thought I could see something, but then thought maybe I was imagining it. Jereme could not tell either. It was so light. I mean it was just a tiny hint of a shadow.
I took a test the next day to see if there would be darker lines. It was definitely positive that time, but still faint. It kind of scared me to be honest. When I miscarried previously, I remember the faint lines that indicated such. So to me, seeing faint lines again spelled doom. Supposedly the issue before was that my progesterone was too low. Naturally, I was fearful of that happening again. I called the doctor immediately to have my hcg and progesterone levels checked immediately. (Do not wait to get this checked if you struggle with miscarriage.)
I didn’t waste any time telling the family either. The moment we got the for sure positive test, we drove to J’s parents to tell them. I wanted EVERYONE praying this time for everything to go smoothly. I would like to say that I have been super calm and trusting the Lord through this but that would not be true. Almost immediately, fear set in thinking about miscarriage. I was even so scared to go to the bathroom because I was afraid of what I might see if I looked down. It wasn’t until I went to my twelve week appointment that I started to really get a grip on my emotions. After I saw it so active and healthy, I was able to start getting excited about it.
You wont believe how I told my in-laws that we were expecting. I walked in the house and yelled at them, imitating Micheal Scott. “I declare PREGNANCY!” I can’t do anything subtle. It was kind of hilarious because they didn’t believe us. My father-in-law was confused because he thought I said the actual line, “bankruptcy”. I actually had to whip out the sticks to prove it. Ha. Of course after that we all had a few happy tears and we prayed. Then I called all of the immediates and told them as well.
Anyways, in order to “check your levels”, you have to get your blood drawn twice, a few days apart to see if there is an increase. You want your levels to go up significantly. In between the blood drawings, I took a third test. It was even darker. So that was encouraging to me. I got the second comparison results back and they were right in between being good and bad. The doctor said that it was great that the HCG had more than doubled, however my progesterone went down slightly. My heart sank when he said that, but he reassured me that it was normal for the progesterone to fluctuate some. That was normal. He said that they would normally only prescribe progesterone if the number was a 10 or below, but they prefer to see that number around a 20. I was at a 15. So they said it was totally up to me, whether or not I wanted to be supplemented. Just to be on the safe side, I chose to take it.
I started taking the progesterone around six weeks and stayed on it until twelve weeks. Let me tell you, those weeks were no walk in the park. I was SO sick that I could barely function. From what I can tell from other moms descriptions, I was not sick with typical morning sickness. I only actually threw up one time. No, I truly believe it was the progesterone making me sick. Almost immediately after I started taking the medicine, I got the most excruciating stomach pain. It was painful to the point of not being able to move. It happened to me the last time I took the progesterone too. I also had a few other symptoms too. I could not eat, and lost weight. I had a ton of joint aches. (Which by the way, all are common side effects.) I called the doctor at about ten weeks, begging them to give me permission to stop taking it. I just cried and cried when they told me no. I did end up stopping it four days early anyways. I just couldn’t stand it one more day. The moment I stopped taking it, I felt night and day better. The stomach pain went away.
There is a “real life” photo below of me on Christmas day feeling so miserable. My first trimester was by no means a glamorous one, however I was still so happy and grateful to be pregnant. Even though I felt so sick, It still all felt so worth it to me. It for sure will be when I get to hold the little baby in my arms. I am so so excited for that moment.
We got our first glimpse of our little spud on December 20th. I can’t think back without giggling at myself. In the ultrasound, I was a nervous wreck. Right from the start, they couldn’t hear a heartbeat with the regular ultrasound. Which is not abnormal that early in the pregnancy. They had to use “the other one” if you know what I mean. I thought it meant that there was something wrong. It turned out that I was just was not as far along as I thought I was by a week or so. I was so worried that it was actually smaller than it should have been because something was wrong. Isn’t it silly the way that fear can cause you to think. The miscarriages made me overly fearful for this baby. They were able to count the heartbeat with the wand. So I was relieved about that. Te heartbeat measured 144.
We got to see our sweet little baby again on January 24th. I was a little emotional to say the least. I went to the doctor expecting to only get to hear the heartbeat. I was totally shocked when he whipped out the cool little doppler device and we got to see it instead. I had never even heard of those before. It was a small device that looked like an old school flip phone. We didn’t actually get to hear the heartbeat but the device was able to measure it. The heartbeat was 145.
At that appointment, he or she put on such a show for us. It was waving its little hands above its head, like it was dancing. It was kicking and it even rolled over and we saw its little booty. We could see it kick from the bottom of the sack to the top and as it would settle back down, it would do it again. He or she was having a little ole party in there. It was the best thing ever. It is such a miracle to be able to witness those tiny little movements at such an early stage. I just sobbed the whole time. Jereme caught a little bit of it on camera. Oh be still my heart.
Here I am at eighteen weeks. I am so shocked at how much I am adoring to see this little bump. I feel like it is taking its precious time showing up.
Here again, at nineteen weeks.
I have to say, pregnancy is the most bizarre thing I have ever experienced. I love every minute of it. One surprising thing about it has been how much more in love with Jereme I am. I couldn’t believe that my heart could hold anymore. Then seeing him interact with the belly, and seeing his excitement at the ultrasounds; I can’t even put into words how my heart overflows. He is going to be the best dad ever. I just know it.
So far I have craved a few things. In the first trimester, I wanted cold treats, especially mango flavored. The one time I threw up, it just happened to be a mango flavored Italian Ice. I now can’t stomach even the thought of the smell of mangos. It makes me feel sick all over again. Now I want hot Cheetos and cherry limeades from Sonic. So random, I know right. Dairy has really been bothering me the whole pregnancy, which is unfortunate. I have a true pregnant girl nose and definite pregnancy brain fog. It is not joke. I have also had a ton of round ligament pain. I didn’t even know that was a thing, but I have it. I am having a lot of back pain too. So far, my stretch mark count totals eight, and cocoa butter is a scam. But most importantly, I am having a baby, so it is all totally worth it. Ha.
We find out what our little jelly bean will be next Tuesday. I can not wait. Please be praying that everything goes smoothly. Be on the lookout for a gender post. I am so excited to find out. This is one of the most exciting things ever. Gender is something so out of our control. Only the Lord knows what it is. The Lord chooses this for us. What a special gift.
Until next time…
Sarah