Well hello lovelies. I feel like it has been ages. "Christmas is coming. It's practically here." I totally get you Mr. Grinch. I not only get you, but I have become you. How embarrassing? I am happy to say though that I have completed all of my Christmas shopping for December. It was not with out a fight though. I am so serious that I absolutely despise shopping in store. I would just much rather shop online. Anyway before I get too far off topic, I have had some things weighing on my heart for a while now, and I want to share. Maybe you are dealing with this too. Maybe you can pray for me? Maybe I can pray for you?
Outfit Deets: Sweater: (Old) Similar here , Vest, Scarf , Boots: Similar Here , Pants : G by Giuliana
I have a major fault. Shocker, right? No, but really, I do. I have a tendency to "kick people to the curb" so to speak. I am sure you have heard the phrase "when the going gets tough, the tough gets going" right? Well, I have realized that I am that tough. In fact, the phrase should be "when the going gets to Sarah, the Sarah gets going." When someone does something that I do not like or something that I disagree with, it has never been hard for me to "dump" them. I am a "dumper", and I do not just mean that in a relationship standpoint either. I am a people "dumper". It has always been way too easy for me to forget about people that hurt me or lose my trust. I am also guilty of refusing to restore the broken relationship byproduct. I just never cared enough to do it. I never had to. I have always been good at making friends easily so I never needed to dwell on keeping them if I could just easily make new ones.
Well lately, I have been going through some new chapters and changes in life that I haven't been handling well. There have also been several situations that have left me feeling angry and upset. To be blunt, I found myself at that "dumping" feeling. The one I mentioned earlier, the one where I just turn my back on people that hurt and upset me because it is easier than confrontation or fixing the problem. Yes, that is the "dumping" I am talking about.
Lately I just stay angry and mad to the point that it has affected my relationships with several people that I love. (Never fear, Jereme and I are just fine.) You see, I have always had an issue restoring trust in relationships that get wounded. I have never had a reason to need to. I have never wanted to trust someone again after they hurt me either. I have always maintained the standpoint that there are far too many people in the world to spend my time with people that do not care or who treat me badly. You might be thinking, "yea! right on!" but really, that is not a good standpoint to have in some circumstances. Those circumstances include your family.
It has been so bad with me before that I have let petty things ruin relationships with my own families. I never got to experience the whole family first values, because none of mine have ever exhibited that before. I suppose that is why it just comes natural to me to be a "dumper" of people. That is not my license to do that to people, it is just the only root that I can find.
Since the moment (last week to be exact) that I realized that I was getting to that "dumping" people point, I had an epiphany moment. What if God treated me the way I treat others. What if it were as easy for him to dismiss me as it is for me to dismiss others? I felt awful about myself. I have not been showing others leniency in any sense. I actually even got scared for myself and my fate. If treat others that way, how is God supposed to not do the same to me. Matthew 7:2 (KJV) For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again. I found myself on my knees begging for forgiveness. "Lord I want that GRACE!"
So there I am, knowing that I am wrong but I have no clue what to do to fix it. Truthfully, I still do not WANT to fix it. I just know that in order for my conscience to be clear, I have to. I also know that a root cause of my feelings stem from not trusting in God's plan for me and just making up my own. By that I mean, I tend to think that I have some control over who will be in my future and who will not be. And let me say this, YOU have NO control over ANYTHING. So how do I fix this problem? Well, the ONLY answer I have to fix this not going to please very many of you. The only answer is forgiveness.
I know, I say that like there is just some magical button that you can push and forgiveness ques the happy rainbows and sunshine. I know, I get it. It is a lot easier said than done, but honestly, it is easier than you think. Forgiveness does not have to be some drawn out soliloquy or speech to the person that has offended you. It just has to take place in your heart. If the opportunity arises, it will make you feel better to say it out loud. If it does not arise, that is okay too. Life does go on. Even if a person was your best friend (like I said before I struggle with this badly), you do not have to restore those same feelings towards an offender but forgiveness at least, is vital. If you just can not muster i; because I sometimes I can not either, PRAY about it. Give yourself some time and space and move forward from there.
There is nothing that you can not pray through. Is that not an amazing thing? There is nothing that GOD can not handle. If you think that I am wrong, try him. I feel confident in saying that he looks for ways to prove himself true to you. Proverbs 3:5-6 says to trust in the Lord with all your heart; and lean not on you own understanding and In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall set your paths straight. I have found this to be true. He will get you to the direction that you need to be going if you trust in HIM.
So my encouragement for you today is this: Don't be a "dumper"! Sometimes we have to forgive people who are not sorry and sometimes we have to accept apologies that we never receive. You will be okay if you have to do this. It might be hard, but you will be okay. Once this life is over, you will not regret forgiving some one. I think that I can guarantee that. Let us be kind and friendly and work through and away from our problems. Life is too short to dwell in negative places. You will be tried and you will be tested, but I promise that if you trust in the Lord, he can make ANYTHING into a beautiful story. On that note, who in your life can you forgive? Who can you release from your shoulders? I apologize too. If I have ever "dumped" you and you are now reading this, I am sorry. You are worth more.
Thank you so much for stopping by and have a great day.
Love always,
Sarah Kate
“5 Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
6 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.”