No, I did not make a typo in that title. I am on a forbidden topic today. You know, that dreaded thing that women are not really suppose to talk about, our weight. Well girls, we are talking about it today. Be prepared! I am going to tell you exactly how much I currently weigh! This is somewhat a pep talk for you, but also a reminder for my own self. To many women let the scale ruin and rule their lives. I would even say that it is an idol to some. I mean why it such a big deal for others to know how much we weigh anyways? I mean people do have eyes, ya'll. Can we all as adults get over this. It is total crap and in the grander scheme of things it is totally ridiculous. We are so much more than the number on a scale.

Jereme and I recently decided that we were going to start treating our bodies better that we currently were. I had noticed that it was getting harder to do some physical things that once were easy to me. I know that our body is a temple (as it says in 1 Corinthians 3 : 16-17 ) and I am to treat it as such. Well, I just down right have not been doing that. To be honest, I didn't even know where I was in terms of weight ( I really didn't care either). But nonetheless, I hopped on the scale, you know, to check and see how things were going. It was a huge mistake. What I saw made me sick to my stomach. Ya'll I was to close to two hundred pounds for comfort. I weighed 196 pounds. And it hit me that I have gained sixty plus pounds since J and I have been together. If only now I could insert that gasping in horror emoji, because that is literally what I did. I don't even know why I weighed myself. I had already made up my mind to do better without knowing the number. So what was even the point?

Up until that moment, I was completely okay with the way I looked. I knew that I had for sure added some pounds, but to be honest, I was okay with added curves. I mean for once in my life I actually have a booty rather than the two pancakes I had before. It is crazy the effects that one silly little number can have on your psyche, and boy did it. Just by looking at that stupid scale I allowed Satan to attack me. HARD. Suddenly, I felt a million insecurities. I noticed dimples in places I had never seen before. I noted that even though I had a booty, it wasn't the shape I wanted. I squeezed my tummy rolls literally into a face. I even went to J and shook my stomach in pure Tim Allen, Santa Clause style, " Does this look like a little weight to you?" Yep, I did that.

I can't even believe how bent out of shape I let myself get over that stupid number. It is actually pretty ridiculous. I mean the only thing that changed between my confidence and insecurity was the knowledge of the number. Have you ever found yourself in this place? Or are you in that place right now? If so, I want you so snap out of it with me. What does that number mean anyways? What is the right one? The answer is, there isn't one. It means that every body is different and carries weight differently. It means that no number will look the same on every single person. You are perfectly imperfect just the way you are. And, If you find yourself in the same boat I am, give yourself some grace and work to change it. That is all we can do. There is no need to let the enemy win over something as silly as a number.

God has really been softening my heart even as I write this. He showed me something so much more important than this superficial beauty. He showed me what he sees, and guess what. It has absolutely nothing to do with weight. I am, among so many other things, his valuable treasure made whole by Jesus who lives in me. I am fearfully and wonderfully made and there is nothing better to be. I am NOT a number on a scale. I do, however have the power to change that number. So do you. It is okay to not be exactly where you need to be. Just like with our faith, our bodies are a work in progress. Sometimes we take steps forward. Sometimes we go backwards. Sometimes we need to work a little harder. The point is the journey and its never to late to turn things around.

Which leads to my next point. I have seen so many women give up on their appearance and "let themselves go" simply because they feel that their weight has gotten to out of hand. Oh ladies, if you hear nothing else at all from this post, hear me now. Do NOT give up. That will only set you on a path of self hate and deeper despair. You may even spiral so far down that you feel it will be next to impossible to come back from. It isn't, that is a lie. It is never to late.

Ladies, we must embrace our bodies the way they are at every stage of you the journey. I promise you will feel happier about yourself. If you have to, stay away from the scale. It is a liar anyways, and you don't need that negativity in your life. Be confident in YOU. Confidence is so much prettier than self pity. No matter your size, or you figure, you are beautiful and do not forget that.

I hope you have an amazing week. YOU are FEARFULLY and WONDERFULLY made. I love you and thank you so much for stopping by.

Love always,

Sarah